CHANGING MY STORY

For Years, I’ve been trying to change my story, without actually using those words. But I heard these words again this week and something about them struck a chord in a completely different way. I need to change my story.

There is happiness and positivity in my life.  But there is also a darker, underlying side that runs through all aspects of my life and needs to be changed.  I have written for my own journal a long appraisal of this dark side of my life, but I find myself not able to post it here.  It is raw and it is negative and is not where I want the focus to be.  So, for the purposes of creating the story, I have just written a little bit for Part One.  Part Two is the best bit, because that is me beginning to make the changes and THAT is my focus and is what puts a smile on my face.

 

PART ONE – THE OLD STORY

The one thing that controls all of my life and how I feel about it, is my eating disorder.  My weight issues, food addictions and all that goes along with them, filters through and negatively affects every aspect of my life.  From wanting to prepare for our wedding, to getting dressed in the morning.  From socialising with others to feeling good about myself.  From my career to my home life.  There is a sadness to everything.

This needs to change.  I desperately need it to change. 

There are so many things that I want to do but I just can’t get it together to do them. It seems to be all I can do to just get through the day and come home again.  Because once I’m home, I just want to hide away and shut down. But this is not what I want for myself. I want to come home and still have an active brain. I want to come home to the joy of my own activities. I want to come home to my own life’s pleasures.

It’s time to change my story.

 

PART TWO – THE NEW STORY

The plan is two-fold.

One - is to have a weekly list of things I want to do and make sure I do all of them at least once. I don’t have to finish the activity, or even do it for very long, I just need to do it – at least once.

Two – is to feel daily gratitude for the wonderful things that are in my life, and to focus once again on being positive.

All of things on the plan, at this stage, are things at home. Because that is what I want most of all, to awaken my home life, to be active in the home, to do all the little things that need doing, to get out in the garden, to do the little things, and create even more of a welcoming, warm and cosy home than we already have.

Step by step, my story will change. Recording it here will not only keep me accountable, but will help me to see my progress and see how things are changing. And it means I can share it with you, which is such an important thing to do.

And so it begins...

 

ACTIVITY	ACHIEVED (week starting 5/9)
Weeding
Hedging
Curves
Walking
Cross Trainer
Non-regular household chore
Sanding (painting preparation)
A creative activity eg. Scrapbooking
Blogging
Keep cut fruits and vegies for snacks